May we share with you some stories? Much like deja vu. Lonely women looking for love through internet dating. A very suave, articulate, charismatic, romantic, talented black male challenged them with the question, “Were they open minded enough to consider dating a black male?” He sent them the ABC’s of his views on romantic relationships. He shared his tag line, “Now wouldn’t you just love a little sax in the evening?”
He seemed almost too good to be true. He talked about his past business ventures. How he had made millions in the past and he would do it again. But he always talked in half-sentences, so the stories were sometimes hard to follow. Founder and past president of a successful IT company, illustrious history in banking, past owner of a successful restaurant/entertainment venue on the beach in the south of Spain on the Mediterranean.
He told stories of racial discrimination and disadvantage, a bastard upbringing, he became known as “Nookie”. He claimed 1 or 2 previous marriages and demonized his ex’s. When asked what happened to all those millions he had made he replied, he “gave it to his ex’s”. You see, he never had any money and had trouble holding a job.
But he had big ideas. He managed to convince them to loan him money, sometimes secured with a boilerplate promissory note that he would use for this very purpose. They opened credit cards and bank accounts jointly. Invariable those credit cards were run to their maximum and the accounts were often in arrears. Why would these women do that? They felt trapped. Once they made that initial loan the slippery slope became much steeper. If they backed out they would likely lose what they had invested in this male. And he professed his love for them, promising his commitment to them and a multiplied return on their investments. He ingratiated himself with their friends by providing them with unique music entertainment experiences through his connections.
He started business ventures (with their ﬁnancial backing) which invariably foundered as he pursued other ventures such as jazz radio broadcasting. As their debt continued to mount these women would sometimes have periods of depression, but held onto their delusion of how wonderful he was, as he had portrayed in the ABC’s in his wooing of them. He tried to convince them there “was something wrong” with them, and encouraged them to get professional psychological help. They rarely went out or did anything together, as he was always “working” or unless it was related to his “business”.